


This Is Your Fate

by Illnoira666 (Erin330)



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Heteronormativity, Homophobia in Motorsport, M/M, Period Typical Bigotry, Period-Typical Homophobia, religious homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:54:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27042322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erin330/pseuds/Illnoira666
Relationships: Mika Häkkinen/Michael Schumacher
Kudos: 4





	This Is Your Fate

It was late spring 1993, and the F1 season was well underway.

The McLaren factory was buzzing with people, as engineers and mechanics were busy converting data they’d gathered from Senna and Andretti into parts that would make the car better and perhaps defeat the Williams this year.

Of course, the team got help from their test driver, a very quick Finn called Mika Häkkinen.

Ayrton had met the young man; he was indeed as quick as they said.

Last time out in Monaco, the youngster had won both Porsche Super cup races from pole. There was a bunch of talent in that guy.

Right now, the triple world champion was walking past some of the rooms as he attempted to find Ron.

The McLaren boss was usually somewhere near his office.

And that office had its door partially open.

The Brazilian reached for the door handle, before freezing in his place as he heard and saw what was going on inside that room.

The McLaren test driver had someone bend over Dennis’s desk and was clearly fucking that person if the moans and grunts were anything to go by.

Senna couldn’t see their faces, as Häkkinen’s back was to him, but the person Häkkinen was fucking had a pair of long, muscled legs that were wrapped around Häkkinen’s waist.

Those legs didn’t really look like a woman’s legs.

That realization disgusted Ayrton.

To him, two men in a sexual relationship was plain wrong.

It would lead to damnation.

* * *

Ayrton kept an eye on their test driver.

At first sight, the Finn didn’t behave typically like a homosexual. He didn’t wear weird clothes either, just normal non-form-fitting blouses and shirts with jeans. Some would even say he looked like a sloth.

Häkkinen was pretty good with kids, but that didn’t have to mean anything this day and age as fathers were also expected to play some part in their children’s lives.

The only time his presence was weird, was at the German Grand Prix.

He hadn’t been requested by McLaren to be there, but he was.

Of course, he could be there for personal reasons, but something told the Brazilian there was something else going on. Why would a Finn be in Germany for personal business?

Later in the weekend, he found Häkkinen sitting in a deck chair with Schumacher right next to him. They seemed to be chatting about something, but it didn’t seem race related.

 _‘Peculiar.’_ Senna thought.

Before the 3-time Champion could turn away, he spotted Schumacher leaning towards Häkkinen and… _kissed him_ , passionately, _like lovers_ would do.

Both men had their eyes closed as they kissed.

They didn’t see the man who’d seen them.

* * *

The moment Mika saw Michael, he felt there was going to be something between them in the future. Of course, he didn’t know what it was going to be.

They just exchanged phone numbers in the beginning, texting and calling from time to time. It became more frequent as time went on, and that’s also where the secret meetings in weird hotels began.

It was in one of those hotels that the German first kissed him and also where they first had sex.

They were a bit tacky at dating, but they were two secret homosexuals in the most masculine sport in the world. Neither could afford being spotted by a colleague or an official out of fear.

The ‘gay panic’ was still very much real.

But all their time apart did make for some heavy make-out sessions and good sex, even if it was in those small backwater hotels where no one asked questions.

Even now, with Michael in a Benetton F1 car for the foreseeable future and Mika ready to take over the wheel from either Michael Andretti or Ayrton Senna, they were still secretly together.

Michael was grinning after their kiss. The Benneton driver had become more and more comfortable in their relationship ever since they fucked in Ron Dennis’s office after Monaco. They were still afraid of being discovered and outed before the time was right.

“Pretty naughty of you.” the test driver said, grinning back. “Straight up kissing me in public.”

“I think I just wanna be naughty sometimes.” the German said with a sly smile, still leaning close to the man he was in love with. “I mean… you taking me on Dennis’s desk was pretty naughty of you.”

Now it was the older man’s time to grin. “You liked it.”

“Course I did. You took me like the Alpha male that you are.” the man in yellow purred.

It stroked the Finn’s ego. He might never have been someone to be proud of his sexual prowess, but it was different when Michael complemented him on it.

Everything was different when it came to Michael.

“I’ll show you what this Alpha male can do to you, kulta.”

“I can’t wait, Liebling.” and the two blonde men shared another kiss.

Mika smirked. “I’ll wait in your trailer.”

* * *

Michael had kinda always known he was different from the rest of his age mates.

He never really talked about girls like all the other boys did. He believed it to be because he had the dream of reaching the top of motorsport. But in the end, he’d been attracted to other boys.

Initially, Michael had been afraid to tell his parents out of fear of rejection and being kicked out. He’d seen it happen to people who came out, but it was something that nagged at him.

He was lucky. His parents accepted it when he came out as gay.

But he knew the outside world would be different. But at least he didn’t have to hide from his family.

When he met Mika at the Macau Grand Prix in 1989, he knew there was something about him that attracted the German to his Formula 3 rival.

And now, 4 years later in Portugal after coming 2nd in his home Grand Prix, they laid in bed together after a thorough fuck. Their limbs were tangled together, their chests were touching, and Michael’s head lay in the crook of Mika’s neck.

The Finn was shorter than him but built a lot sturdier. He was a strong partner.

The Benneton driver had a much slender figure, he knew it sometimes could make him look like a woman. But Mika liked his tall and slender body, manipulating it to do his will.

The McLaren test driver pulled him closer. “Minä rakastan sinua, Michael.”

“Ich Liebe dich auch, Mika.” and the two kissed again.

Mika rubbed his lover’s back. “I should leave soon. Otherwise your Briatore might find out about us.”

The German understood. Briatore was a bit… anti-LGBT+, and he certainly wouldn’t appreciate having a gay driver as employee. In that regard, Mika was slightly safer than him as Dennis was rather liberal and trying to create diversity within the sport together with Bernie Ecclestone.

Luckily, no one in F1 questioned your sexuality. As it was an overly masculine sport, everyone thought you were just a normal heterosexual man even if you didn’t show off your girlfriends to the public. You yourself decided if you wanted to let the world know about your private life or not.

Before leaving the bed, his Finnish lover kissed him once more before putting on his clothes.

Michael just watched him getting dressed.

His lover was a handsome man, and he knew he was lucky to have him as a partner. They had a steadier relationship now, especially now Mika’s chances of an F1 seat were rising as time went on.

Andretti was performing rather badly, and Senna looked like he might either just quit the sport or move to another team since McLaren didn’t give him what they’d promised him at the start.

Maybe next year they could sneak off together each night in a hotel room after their engineers meeting and do everything heterosexual couples would do in public. Not that people would notice there was something between them if they just went for burgers or to movies; friends did that too.

But there could be no hand holding in restaurants, or other PDA. There could only be sweet kisses and holding each other in the dark as they sat in the back of the movie theatre in an almost empty hall, quickies in a bathroom stall and silent lustful looks when no one was watching.

“I’ll see you next time.” and the Finn left his lover.

Michael laid back in his bed, sighing happily as he felt the sting in his ass. He liked to be fucked in the ass by strong men, and Mika gave it to him just right. And it was nice to feel happy after your home Grand Prix.

* * *

It was in Portugal where Michael stood once again on the top step of the podium.

He’d wanted to have Mika with him, but he’d crashed out of the race on lap 32 on the pit straight. In his mind, he dedicated his win to his secret lover.

That night, in his hotel room, he was pressed up against the wall by that secret lover.

The German was immediately turned on by the display of strength.

“You ready for your treat, race winner?”

The Benetton driver moaned out loud. “Yes.”

Immediately after that, he was thrown on the bed.

The Finn was looking at his partner with hungry eyes, that famous Finnish fire focused like a laser on him.

And it was beautiful to see. Especially during their lovemaking, as it made Michael more loved

* * *

“I won’t have a faggot for a teammate!”

Mika froze when he heard Senna yell in that distinctive Brazilian accent of his. His eyes went wide and he went even paler than he already was… and his skin was already very white due to his Finnish ancestry. He didn’t wait for Dennis’s answer and stormed into the toilets.

The world around him was turning as he kept repeating the same question in his mind _. ‘How could Senna know I am gay?’_ He’d been so careful! Both he and Michael had always made sure no one was around when they fucked or kissed in a semi-public place. _‘How could he have noticed?’_

Dennis was going to fire him for sure. He should just pack his stuff and retreat to the forests of Finland, or perhaps the Black Wood in Germany, have a secret place with Michael.

He threw some water in his face before shaking it off and leaving the bathroom and just pack his bag.

In the end, someone would always find out either he or Michael were gay. Maybe it just had to be this way, since Michael had much more of a chance to become World Champion.

Before the Finn could leave though, he bumped into Ron.

The team principal frowned. “Why are you vacating your room?”

“Because I’m leaving.” the platinum blonde said with a sigh. “I take it you renewed Senna’s race-by-race contract?”

“We didn’t.”

Mika raised an eyebrow.

“Because we don’t want to fire you.”

The 25-year-old frowned. “Did… didn’t you hear what he said?”

“You thought we’d fire you because you like guys instead of girls?” Dennis asked.

“Uh… yes.”

The team boss shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that. You’re quick, and young, we need that in this team. Senna’s our veteran, he can find another spot on the grid if he doesn’t want to work with you.”

The Finn just blinked.

“Just put your stuff back.”

* * *

During the 1994 season, a lot of things happened in Michael’s life.

The first thing that happened: Ayrton Senna died at the San Marino Grand Prix.

Next were his two disqualifications at Silverstone and Spa-Francorchamps, which was followed by a 2-race ban for Monza and Estoril.

Then, at the last race in Australia, he clinched the 1994 World Title with just 1 point on Damon Hill.

And when he came home in Germany after that event, his father told him that he arranged a marriage for him… with Corinna.

The second the oldest Schumacher child heard it; he became _absolutely_ furious.

“Who the hell do you think you are?! You can’t do that! If I’m going to get married it’ll be on _my terms_!”

“Society as it is now will never accept gay people, especially not in motorsport.” Rolf argued. “It’s for the best, Michael. I’m doing this for your sake.”

“ _My sake_?! What the hell are you talking about? You know I don’t like girls, why are you even setting me up to _marry_ one?” the 1994 F1 Champion shot back. “Don’t you think about _her_? How unhappy she’ll be in a marriage to a _gay man_ who won’t even touch her and who will be fucking his gay lover all over the world? I’m not going to trap her in an unhappy marriage, and that’s _final_!”

He was absolutely fuming. How did his father get it in his head to arrange a marriage? It was unbelievable.

No one should be trapped in a loveless marriage, especially not such a sweet girl as Corinna. She deserved a better life than being married to a man who was repulsed by her entire body.

And well, there was only one way out.

* * *

**_‘THE TRUE MICHAEL SCHUMACHER’_ **

_‘Just yesterday, 2 weeks after clinching his 1994 World Title in a… rather dubious manner, Benetton driver Michael Schumacher has revealed that he his sexually and romantically attracted to men._

_The German has said that he doesn’t want ‘to live a lie or some other fake sort of life’, but that he wants to stay true to who he is. He admitted he’s known his true sexuality for some years, but that the fear of never getting a seat in any form of motorsport held him back from saying the truth. And now he’s a World Champion, people won’t be able to use his sexuality against him._

_Former Champion Jackie Stewart has stated that no one would ever have known that Schumacher was a homosexual if he hadn’t come out, as heterosexuality is assumed when you’re an F1 driver. He also acknowledges that times are changing, and that perhaps stereotypes about gay people are far from the truth. As it turns out, not all gay people are ‘pussies’ and ‘fashionistas’, as Schumacher has proven both on and off track with his pretty ruthless driving style and his bad fashion sense._

_Bernie Ecclestone reacted pleasantly surprised by the news that one of the drivers on the grid, who is also a rising star, deviates from the social norm and hopes to see more drivers like that in the near future._

_Other media outlets haven’t been very positive on the World Champion’s coming out. La Gazetta della Sport has already stated that Schumacher is ‘a disgrace’ to the sport and therefore unworthy for the crown that he stole from Damon Hill who, in their eyes, as a married heterosexual man with 2 kids and the 3 rd one on the way is a much more ‘manly’ man and someone who didn’t deserve it to have his crown to be stolen by a ‘faggot’._

_Damon Hill himself has not yet reacted on the news.’_

* * *

Michael sighed when he got yet another death threat from some brainless Brit. He wasn’t fazed by them anymore. He kinda expected things to go that route. And there would be more this year. He’d kept it hidden from Mika, because he knew that his cool-headed Finn could go completely berserk if people hurt his loved ones.

It was touching though, to know the man would punch a reporter for him.

After he threw away the threatening letter by letting it burn in the fireplace, he joined his lover on the couch and just sank into those strong arms.

Winter testing was going to happen soon, and Mika would be in Woking while Michael would be in Enstone. They’d both be in the British Isles, but still over 60 miles apart.

The first time the German saw his title rival from last year, was at the start of the season in Brazil.

Damon was scratching his head as he approached. “Uh… hi Michael. Did you have a good winter?”

“Could’ve been better.” the Benetton driver said as he shrugged.

“Yeah… I’m sorry for my fans. I guess they really don’t like me to lose. British pride, y’know.” the Brit sighed again. “I’m not trying to make excuses; they shouldn’t have sent you those letters.”

Schumacher frowned. “How do you know about them.”

“Let’s just say… some of my fans boasted about it in their fan mail to me.”

The German pulled a sour face.

“Yeah, they weren’t nice to read.” Hill said, shrugging too. “But uhm… it’s true then? You like guys?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what the term ‘homosexual’ entails.” the 25-year-old replied.

“Just needed to know it wasn’t made up or anything.” the Williams driver stated. “Media makes up a lot of rumours these days. I just don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“I know.”

The brunet scratched his head again. “So… you have a type?”

Michael laughed. “It’s not you Damon, if you want to know that. I have a steady partner who I’ve been with since ninety-two.”

“Ah. Well, Georgie got all worried and fussed up about it. Guess she just needed to know if there was a risk you’d seduce me or something.”

“I won’t.” the Benetton driver said with a smirk. “Unless you want me to.”

The son of Graham Hill laughed.

* * *

“Looks like you’re not the only gay driver on the grid.” Dennis said.

Mika just hummed. “I knew.”

The McLaren team principal frowned. “You did? How?”

“Well, we both knew there was something about the other when we met at Macau. We just levitated towards each other, and, well, we’ve been in a relationship for three years.”

The Brit raised an eyebrow. “You managed to keep a _relationship_ secret from the press while both in Formula One? Okay, now I’m impressed.”

The driver shrugged. “It’s not that impressive.”

“Most drivers can’t even keep the secret whom they’re dating, as they’re literally hounded by the press.”

“We know. But as a gay couple, you just don’t want anyone to see you. We always met up in those backwater motels with dirty rooms where staff doesn’t ask questions or in Michael’s trailer.”

Ron just shook his head. “The lengths you had to go through. I sincerely hope you can live a normal life one day in the future. Did you think about that already?”

“Well, either a civil partnership or marriage when that’s finally legal if we’re still together. If we want kids, we have to look what we’ll do.”

* * *

After his death, Ayrton Senna didn’t know what to expect except Final Judgement and what was beyond. But he certainly didn’t expect to be forced to watch his mentee and former teammate going at it.

The first time he’d been forced to watch, was after the Finn had a nasty case of appendicitis and had to get it removed as the German grasped his 2nd world title at that year’s Pacific Grand Prix at Okayama.

After that race, Senna saw the pair kissing passionately and using their hands to hold each other tight as their dicks slid together under the covers. He couldn’t understand why he was made to watch these men lose themselves in their sin of lust.

Neither regretted sinning the way they’d let their homosexual lust consume them.

It didn’t matter how sweet they were to each other; it was still wrong.

The second time it was after the McLaren driver had shunted into the barrier on Saturday.

He’d been very close to death, hadn’t it been for that doctor. He was hospitalized for 2 months. In mid-January came the day he was able to leave the hospital in Adelaide and return home.

In those 2 months, Schumacher had barely left his lover’s bedside.

Just like a wife.

The sight of it made the dead driver feel sick in the stomach.

Mika and Michael behaved just like a husband and wife, very unlike how they should behave, but they’d taken on that role none the less. Mika was the husband in the relationship, even if he was the less successful driver between the two of them, he provided them with groceries, a house, and took care of financial business as Michael made sure they both stayed healthy, which was a wife’s task.

The roles were less there in bed, yet still present.

Here, Michael submitted to Mika’s desires and needs.

After all, the Finn had just been released from a 2-months hospitalization.

It was a similar situation to the one he witnessed in Dennis’s office the year before his death. The now Ferrari-contracted driver took it up the ass as his partner pounded into him.

Senna could only watch in horror as his brain was spinning. What had he done to deserve this sort of punishment? To be forced to watch a pair of faggots going at it?

Was it perhaps that time in ‘92 that he crashed into Prost on purpose? Or for not being there for his wife when she needed him?

* * *

Michael didn’t know how Mika had convinced his sister Nina to carry their baby for them, but he supposed it was rather logical. Nina was genetically close enough to Mika and Michael would just have to provide the lab with his sperm to ensure insemination could occur.

It was after Mika’s crash that the pair of them couldn’t wait for a long, long time. They wanted to start a life together right after that horrible occurrence.

And a baby was one step in the direction they wished to take.

Their baby was born at the end of the 1996 season, a little boy whom they named Ilkka.

The two of them couldn’t be happier.


End file.
